Registered with the Registrar of Newspapers for India under R.N.I 53640/91
Vol. XXV No. 19, January 16-31, 2016
The other day, a publisher friend of mine sent me a book on self-improvement, for translation. He said, ‘If you can complete the translation in a month, I have a few more to be brought out in vernacular editions!’ Publishers’ newsletters announce the arrival of dozens of such self-improvement books, month after month. Do such books really improve the reader’s status or behaviour? I doubt it.
I wonder whether all these authors of self-help books live in this world or in a paradise of their own. An author says that I should always think that I am the best person in this universe. Who cares whether I am the best or the worst? The other day, thinking I am the best, I asked my wife to fetch me a glass of buttermilk. She said, “Go get it from the fridge in the kitchen!” without even looking at me. Is this the way to treat the best person in the world? I asked her “What do you lose if you give me a glass of buttermilk?” “A glass of buttermilk, of course!” pat came her nonchalant retort.
My ego was terribly hurt. “I think I am the best and what do you think you are?” I shouted.
“The best person does not behave like this. Didn’t you read the next line in the same book?” was her curt reply.
Who asked these women to browse through such books during power cuts when they cannot see serial weepies?
Another author says, “Your appearance should be arresting. Attractive.” Does a person wanting to drink a glass of buttermilk necessarily have to be attractive? Nonsense. I looked at another book to see whether there was any clue to defend a man when such a verbal attack comes from his wife. “Ask yourself whether at all it is necessary to defend in such circumstances!” was all the author could say.
I was furious. “Don’t get angry often for silly reasons!” said another counsellor. I felt like throwing all these books in the Cooum. But then I did not want the river to get more contaminated. Nor did I buy the advice of another author to always keep smiling. What would my colleagues in office think of me if I smiled non-stop?
“Always think positive,” says another writer. This sermon goes on and on for pages. It compelled me to ask my friend how to avoid negative thoughts. “You should have asked me how to develop positive thoughts. Your very question is silly,” he said.
“Don’t entertain bad thoughts you say and I didn’t. But a couple of days back my mother-in-law came from her native place and stood before me. What do I do?”
“Ask her to sit down!” chuckled my friend. I felt like kicking him, but restrained myself. What do these self-improvement authors think? Sure enough, they are the only people in the whole world thinking negative thoughts 24×7. We only suffer buying their stuff wittingly or unwittingly. “When you speak to anyone, look at their eyes straight,” says one author. If the other person turns his face, what do I do, pull his chin? Rubbish.
“Don’t think small. Think big,” advises yet another author. Right. What if I imagine that I go to my office in a two-wheeler or a small car? Wrong. You should think that you are travelling on an elephant. What will the pachyderm think carrying an ordinary person like me? ‘Why should I carry this man who does not even work in a multinational, when I normally carry the Lord in the temple?’ Another brilliant idea these authors throw up is, “Talk to those who have succeeded in their lives. Don’t talk to those failed ones.” What do these authors think of us, that we are plain stupid?
I have decided not to go in for self-improvement books any more (of course, including mine). I know that it helps only improvement, social or financial, of the author, not ours.
“When you go to bookstore, keep away from the ‘Self-Improvement’ bookshelves. Improvement does not come from outside. It should come from within!” my wife counselled me. I have never heeded her advice thus far in my life.
However, I decided to follow my better half’s guidance this time for the betterment of the other half. My appeal, therefore, is to heed all advice that comes free. Especially if it comes from your wife. Do not suspect whether she is indeed interested in your improvement or not. She knows for certain that if you are improved, her position would be threatened. However, you will have the satisfaction that you have a self-improvement author by your side.
You do not have to pay any money, cash or credit card or online. Isn’t it a big saving in your budget?