Short ‘N’ Snappy

– WMM

Red light, green light

The Woman from Madras Musings was on the way to the airport. It was early evening, and the traffic was light; WMM was just beginning to think that she would have time enough to spare for the luggage drop when – to the driver’s great indignance – a pair of traffic policemen waved the car to a stop. As one officer peered into the backseat, his colleague explained to S that he had crossed a red light at the signal behind. S would hear none of it. According to him, thesignal had been yellow. The exchange attracted more policemen but S stood his ground.

If the officers had asked WMM beforehand, she would have told them about S. She’s seldom seen another as fair-minded as him – once, he had a tiff with the attendee at the airport exit toll booth because he thought she was deliberately slow in moving the line along; another time, he insisted that the flower seller give WMM an extra rose because he thought the rates were criminally high. So when he was accused of crossing the red light, it was quite natural that he asked for a video or picture from the traffic camera. In reply, one of the officers explained that the traffic challan would be sent later as a message. S said that he’d prefer to wait for it. They asked him if he was sure. He replied that he was, and asked if he could get their leave. The policemen agreed after some internal discussions, and that was that.

S has two brothers who also offer their services as a driver, and WMM has gone through much the same experience with each of them. Interestingly enough, each dealt with the policemen differently. The middle brother H is a soft-spoken gentleman and a diplomat of sorts, slow to anger. At the time, H alighted from the car with a puzzled smile on his face. So mild did he look that the traffic policeman softened immediately; a brief exchange ensued which ended with the latter patting H on the back – he asked him to be more careful in the future before sending him on his way. Contrary to S and H, the youngest brother A is a straightforward chap, drawn to the path of least resistance – he feels that life’s too short to bother about the petty things. During his turn, A was pulling his wallet out of his pocket even as he was getting down from the car. A brief reprimand later, he returned and resumed his place at the wheel.

Did WMM hear readers ask whether she’s been stopped? She has, on rare occasions and she daresays that not all were in error. But given that her purse is almost always empty and that she hasn’t set up a single digital payment app, her experiences are more embarrassing than annoying.

The slow life

The Woman from Madras Musings and the Better Half recently entertained an old friend, one that she had last met about a decade ago. It was only when she spent time with him that she realized how much she had changed as a person. He was still the same man she had known, sweet and gentle and unruffled; but WMM appears to have grown more restless and unruly over the years. What struck her was how unhurried he was during his time here. He took his own time to get ready in the mornings – his baths were indulgently long and leisurely; he took the time to really enjoy his first cup of coffee, and accorded much the same reverence to the second, and the third; and when he visited the Government Museum, he spent a solid four and a half hours to look at everything to his heart’s content. Each time he left home to explore the city on his own, WMM had to make sure that his backpack had enough water and snacks to see him through the lunch he would invariably miss from lingering at tourist sites. B.H. was well and truly puzzled by his unrushed style. WMM thinks it rather flustered him, for it is so in contrast to his own way of life; B.H. is an impatient sort and tends to take matters into his own hands just to complete things more quickly.

One morning, B.H. took the friend to a favourite lunch spot; WMM couldn’t join as she was otherwise held up at work. She had rather forgotten that the pair were eating out together when an alarmed B.H. called WMM – they had finished lunch half an hour back, he said, and now the friend was nowhere to be seen. WMM was about to leave for the restaurant when a relieved B.H. shared that he had spotted the fellow. He had been washing his hands when he had seen something interesting elsewhere and wandered off; and then, upon his return, had made a stop to wash his hands once again. He had ended up making friends with the restaurant owner and learned some Tamil phrases in the bargain. Come the day of his departure, WMM was more stressed about him missing the train than he was – he had a presentation to make the very next day, but he was supremely unbothered about the whole thing. It left WMM quite jealous, to be frank.

WMM is considering embracing the slow life this year. It certainly seems more peaceful than her current lot.

Safari spree

The Woman from Madras Musings went on her first safari with the Better Half this year. It was interesting, to be sure – WMM saw spotted deer, langur, elephants, bison, wild boar and more. The monkeys were particularly endearing. One handsome langur caught WMM’s eye as he sat on a branch, lost in thought; with one hand cradling his chain, the fellow looked disarmingly human. WMM was rather moved by the sight.

She was in the midst of likening the scene to Rodin’s masterpiece when the chap made a sudden, decisive leap to the neighbouring tree to pick an entirely unprovoked fight with an indignant friend.

But the headliner of the safari – the tigers that the forest reserve is famed for – remained elusive. WMM wouldn’t have minded it much except that her jeep kept running into other safaris that kept telling them that they missed a tiger sighting by ‘mere minutes.’ The worst of the lot was one large bus full of obnoxiously jubilant tourists. They triumphantly held out their smartphones at WMM and B.H., cackling as they played videos of a tiger crossing the road. WMM has a deep suspicion that they enjoyed crowing about their experience more than they did the sighting itself.

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