Short ‘N’ Snappy

– MMM

Mad(ras) Week

It is that time of the year when madness peaks. And in case you often wondered as to why the city was named Madras, the Man from Madras Musings has a theory – there is a solid component of madness in it. And much of it rubs on to MMM as well, especially during the build-up to Madras Week. You see, unlike the late Chief, on whom may there be peace, MMM is not a natural extrovert. Not for him the joy of speaking to people on the phone, meeting up with them at events, and then coming back refreshed to pound out 2000 wordson the typewriter. MMM is happiest at home, among books. And so the plethora of invites to events of various kinds for Madras Week exhausts him. As for the telephone calls, they take away what he feels are precious minutes better spent on work. But there are the odd gems that come by, especially during this period which occasionally brighten the day.

How else can MMM describe the call from a journalist at what was once a fiery newspaper operating out of a vast garden bungalow on Mount Road, asking if MMM had photos of that erstwhile premises? It amazed MMM that the paper did not have any archival material of its own. Or was someone trying to get them through what they hoped would be a faster route? And then there was a call which MMM responded to by way of message and got a reply – the caller needed a sound byte on the ‘flag tree’ at Fort St George. It took MMM quite a while to realise that flag tree was a literal translation of kodi maram in Tamil!

But the icing on the cake was from a Government Department which deals with property endowments made by those from a particular religion. The officer having called and introduced himself waited for some moments in silence, no doubt to let MMM realise the momentousness of the occasion – here was the great panjandrum calling the humble MMM. And that having not made much of an impression on MMM, he then proceeded with his query. And like all Government interrogations it began with something that happened years ago, which the Government had decided to fish out at the apt moment.

MMM, declared the officer, had written an article in a newspaper wherein he had said that there were some tombs in the compound of a famed college of the city. MMM said yes and was going to add further details when he was rather brusquely cut off. All that, said the officer, was well known. What he wanted to know was, how did the college acquire the property if it was a burial site. MMM was rather taken aback. The transfer of land had happened in 1855 he said, and it was well documented in history books. He had merely quoted from them.

The officer said he knew all that. But what he wanted to know was the whereabouts of the property documents of the college in question. And in this he said, he wanted MMM’s help. If MMM had them, he would kindly see to it that they were clearly scanned and emailed. MMM took a deep breath. He then counted to 10. He then asked if the person calling was from a Government department. The man said yes. MMM then asked him if the college in question was Government owned. The man agreed. Then why could not the Government ask itself for these documents, scan them and mail them to itself, asked MMM and hung up.

MMM gets More Mail

The Man from Madras Musings is unable to express his delight. His cup of joy runneth over, what with fan mail coming in from all kinds of unexpected quarters. MMM has already written on how ladies from China pour their hearts out to Madras Musings and solicit its interest in everything from geriatric beds to standing wheelchairs. And now, MM’s popularity is going up among men too, thereby indicating that the old mag is above chauvinism of any kind. The latest missive is as follows –

Hey Editor

Do you need concrete mixer equipment?

We are a professional manufacturer and seller of construction machinery.
Our concrete mixer equipment combines advanced technology and innovative design, and with more than 20 patents, we can provide high-quality professional equipment. Let’s work together to achieve your project goals!

Please reply if you are interested and I will send you a catalogue and samples.

Kind regards

Mr.Tan Wusheng Jinchanglai Construction Machinery Manufacturing Co.,Ltd.

Now it so happens that a concrete mixer was just what MMM wanted for Christmas but he has decided to settle for it as a suitable Madras Week gift.

And in case you thought MM was all old world, bemoaning the demolition of heritage buildings and loss of a certain way of life, let MMM assure you that out there in China, there are people who consider MM to be in with the latest. In this, MMM has Estella Thao in mind – she is a telecommunications specialist and this is what she writes –

Hi Editor,

We collaborate with businesses to offer an advanced cloud-based phone solution, inclusive of video conferencing and text messaging, all at a lower cost compared to traditional phone providers.

Our platform stands out with exceptional features such as call recording, call ID, ­integration with CRM ­systems, and much more.

Could I share some insights about our cutting-edge VoIP service?

Thanks Estella but then you know how it is, we have got by on the old email. And VOIP service, though it all sounds naughty and exciting beyond belief, may not be good for a magazine with readership among the elderly.

Tailpiece

It is with much amusement that The Man from Madras Musings realises that many of the biggest naysayers of Madras Week are its most ardent celebrants now. MMM will not say anything further but the Chief, wherever he is, must be chuckling.

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