The Tamil Brahmin Ladies Association

by Raja Ramakrishnan

A cool early morning and the early morning walkers were out in full force in the colony around. As usual the ladies outnumbered the men. In designer outfits, fashionable Indian ladies walked in a horizontal line blocking the road, making all other walkers step aside. They were a noisy gang and you could hear them at the end of the road, discussing all topics and especially their domestic lives and their husbands who would not lift a finger to help them. The usual noisy discussions were disturbed one morning by a very agitated shrill discussion. The upshot of it was that Rita’s husband was lauding Trump’s behaviour and saying that nature’s law of the superiority of men should prevail.

The de facto leader of the group is Usha, slim, well trimmed with flowing hair who walks fast with long steps like a gazelle. She has sharp carrying voice. She was married but is separated from her husband amicably. She suggested to her friends that this was a serious matter and they should all meet together to discuss it. So they met at lunch a week later and decided to form an association. The main areas they would concentrate on were

The only condition they laid was that the Tamil Brahmin ladies should wear nine yard sarees in Tambrahm fashion (Iyer or Iyengar) for meetings and be strict vegetarians.

The stage was now set to get matters moving and the ladies assembled in one of the members’ house in the forenoon when the house was clear of the husband and children. They came with their nine yard sarees, and changed into them. The first time, however, it took forever to change and by the time they were ready it was too late for any discussions. So they decided to get professional help from a helper to tie the sarees for them. This set the stage for the first business meeting. Much to the dismay and consternation of the Trump admirer’s wife they discussed the action to be taken against him. Rita did her best to deflect the discussion but found that short of her losing her membership there was little she could do. The TBLA finally decided that initially they would try a soft approach to bring him round. First, he would not be served hot degree coffee in the morning by Rita. Second, Rita would not share a bed with him till he came round. Rita did not mind the first but was quite unhappy with the second course of action. The ladies convinced Rita that this would work.

For the next few days, the TBLA ladies were quiet on their morning walks. Rita looked morose. The ladies were getting doubts whether they had over-reacted. There was no sign of Rita for a few days and the other ladies began debating whether to call on her. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, Rita joined them looking chirpy. They asked if she was sick and had any problems. Rita laughed and said that everything was under control. The other ladies looked at each other hesitating to probe further.

“We reached a compromise”, announced Rita.
Oh, no, thought the others. The stupid woman has let TBLA down. “We told you to stand firm and what have you done?” cried Usha.
“I agreed to share the bed if he made the morning coffee every morning,” replied a blushing Rita.

After a moment of shocked surprise the TBLA ladies started to sing and dance on the road much to the amusement of the other walkers.

There was no looking back for TBLA after this.They got going in full swing. Yoga and meditation classes designed and conducted by women, classes for Tambrahm ladies on female power, and training for protecting themselves against marauding males were all initiated.

One early morning, the loud cries of a woman disturbed the serene walking crowd. Her chain had been snatched by a man on a scooter and she had a bad bruise around her neck. The men said it was stupid to wear jewellery and attract thieves. The TBLA ladies were annoyed and said if you men at least made an attempt to chase the thief there would be some effect. What is jewellery meant for?

TNLA became well established and requests for membership kept pouring in. A very strict selection procedure was adopted and the total number of members was frozen to make a compact effective body. TBLA felt that the time had come to establish a correspondent in New York which had a very large number of Tam-brahm ladies. The inputs from there could help TBLA and would also see that Tambrahm culture was nurtured and kept alive there in its pristine form. Usha who was going there for a short visit was authorised to select a suitable person. She met a lot of people and zeroed in a musical group called Navadisha. This group consisted solely of married Tambrahm women who spent their spare time in group singing and South Indian dance shows to propagate Tambrahm culture to New Yorkers and they had made a success of it. The leader of the group was Hamsa, a very talented singer herself. Usha spent a lot of time with her. One early morning jogging with her, a man tried to mug them. Hamsa’s response was instantaneous. She gave him a vicious kick in a more sensitive area and laid him down.

“That will put him out of action for a few months” chuckled Hamsa.

Usha invited Hamsa to be TNLA’s NY correspondent.

Usha accepted and came to Chennai a few weeks later to a rousing welcome from TNLA.

After the mandatory early morning walk, the ladies met for lunch at a club. Hamsa had been warned to either come in nine-yard saree draped in tambrahm style or bring one which they would help to drape on her. Hamsa came with a small handbag and had the TNLA ladies worried. She went into the changing room and came out in few minutes while the others were still getting ready. The TNLA ladies were surprised to learn about a clip-on nine-yard saree dress which can be worn in jiffy. Hamsa said she designed it herself and had it stitched by Ayyalu in Chennai.

Hamsa was a great hit. She taught them how to do the kick. They made a dummy to practise and perfect the technique. She also taught them to change their diet to more salads in -order to be less hip heavy and have a better balance while kicking. She encouraged them to take up group singing of Carnatic music. They had found in New York that this was great enjoyment and relaxation. In New York they had successfully spread Tambrahm culture by public singing. Hamsa went back and kept in touch with updates and TBLA flourished.

There is an old saying that achievement always breeds seeds of decay. This was as true of organisations as of empires big or small. For a few years TBLA thrived. But, it was a mistake to restrict membership, they found to their cost. First, two of the ladies became grandmothers and their babysitting duties and cute grandchildren weaned them away. One lady’s daughter married a Hasidic Jew. The other lady’s son brought home a Vietnamese as his wife. The shock was too much and she stopped attending TBLA meeting. The gazelle lady, Usha went into shock when her daughter eloped with a Muslim boy. So that was the end of TBLA and the male morning walkers in the area wondered what has happened to the loud ladies.

The spirit of TBLA however lives on in the Navadisha group in New York. They had learnt the secret of surviving by constant renewal.

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