The week that was – SHORT ’N’ SNAPPY

At the outset Chief, please accept the apologies of The Man from Madras -Mus-ings. He does know that you, Chief, are averse to any political overtones appearing in this column. MMM’s rejoinder to that being such is the standard of MMM’s column that no politician worth his/her salt is likely to ever understand even a word. However, you Chief did not agree. And it was left to MMM to take an oath (thankfully not accompanied by three whacks on a granite surface) that he would forsake politics.

But last week was different Chief, and you have to make  exceptions. Imagine, Chief, had this been the defeat  and subsequent sending off of -Napoleon to Elba (see, Chief, MMM did not -allude to St -Helena mainly -because the present scenario does have possibilities of a -triumphant return) and had MMM been reporting on that, would you have objected? Surely not.
And, so when it came to last week, MMM remained glued to the TV and social media and got very little other work done. And what he saw distressed him. He alludes mainly to the complete ignorance of those up north as regards happenings down south. They found our names difficult to pronounce, had no clue as to what our politicians in their thick Tamil accent were saying, and began asking anyone and -everyone whom they knew even slightly as to their views on the happenings here. And, thus, it was that all kinds of people became experts on the situation.

Oh, why is it that the Gover-nor has not called the main claimant to the legacy, lamented a grey-haired, self-declared psephologist who had clearly never travelled further South than one of the South Delhi colonies. Two days later, after main claimant had made a stormy departure, three whacks on granite -alluded to above included, the same grey-haired woman praised the Governor for his foresight. A man from Chen-nai, whom MMM knew in -another avatar (the man’s and not MMM’s), suddenly began spewing extracts from the Constitution. The Tamil -expression for such fly-by-night Alladis is, so MMM -understands, Killadi. This man also resorted to verbiage when not sure of what he was saying. At one point he said that the Governor selects a Chief Minister after consulting the Advocate-General just as the President selects the Prime Minister after consulting the Attorney-General.

Mention of the PM reminds MMM of that great man’s devotees on social media. One of these fanatics posted that Tamil Nadu did not deserve any sympathy as its people never voted for Mr DeMo. MMM was rather surprised at this. Is it necessary, Chief, to adore this De-Noted Man like the way MMM was asked to like pussycats when he was learning his rhymes? In fact, on those lines, why is it not -expected that all of us should chant every day, “I love my PM/His beard is so warm/And if I criticise him/His devotees will do me harm?”

MMM too was asked for his views by a TV channel or two. He refused, but could not -resist when someone asked him about the history of the house that could become a memorial. MMM in all seriousness said that initially it was a plot of empty land on which a house came to be built. The interviewer disconnected at this point. Truth has no value these days, Chief.

Deafening silence

The Man from Madras Musings knows that the Chief does not like it when he MMM, chooses to harp on the same topic for the entire -column. But these are unusual times and MMM is moved to sing on above story at greater length. But he will, just to keep the Chief happy, add a new string to his lyre.

Just a fortnight or so earlier to the above constitutional crisis, during which gubernatorial ratings swung from abysmal lows to amazing highs and then back to lows, there was the bovine crisis, during which Prime Ministerial and Chief Ministerial ratings swung the same way. It was all interpreted as a fight for a fundamental local right – the right to joust with the bull. It was off with the head for anyone who dared to express a contrary view and just about anyone and everyone, including chess champions, actors, actresses (Oops! Wrong term there, for these are all actors these days), cricket players, radio jockeys and singers, jumped wholeheartedly onto the bullock cart, sorry bandwagon. It was term-ed a new revolution, one that would show the way. It did, for it terrified the administration, electrified the media, stupefied the judiciary and, finally got a law modified or nullified, MMM forgets which, by way of an ordinance. Joy was unconfined. Or it was till all hell broke loose on the last day and people spent several hours trying to get home and thereafter wasted several days talking about it.

The revolutionaries went home, having fought for their right. And then we had the  present crisis, this palace -intrigue with all the correct -ingredients – cloak and dagger, wholesale abduction, swearing of fealty, loyalty and what not.  Media screamed itself hoarse, one day condemning the -Governor and the next day  extolling him and then -going on to focus on deadly swearing at and deathly silent swear-ing in. But what puzzled MMM  was the complete -absence of the revolutionaries. Those people who wore black T- shirts and went hurtling around streets on two–whee-lers tooting their horns, those who repeatedly came on -electronic media and stated that their cultural liberty was at stake, and those who trolled on social media anyone who dared have a contrary view, where were they? Was their real liberty not at stake now? Or was it that this was not as important as fighting for a bullfight, sorry a game that is enjoyed in equal measure by man and bull? The silence was quite deafening.

There was one exception. World Hero or the Smiling Lotus was there both times. And on both occasions he used words of fifteen syllables where smaller terms would have sufficed. He dwelt at length on equipoise and totalitarianism, both terms MMM took quite a while to understand. At the end of much consulting of online and offline dictionaries, MMM was happy to know that World Hero/Lotus Smile had his heart in the right place. MMM had quite unnecessarily feared that he was into disesta-bli-shmen-tarianism.

Tailpiece

The Man from Madras Musings is just back from a weekend down south during which he went to coastal colonial settlements set up by the Dutch and the Danes. On his way back, he passed by an ancient port that all signboards uniformly declared to be Boombugar or Boombukar. Is it because Poompuhar was once a town where commerce boomed?

-MMM

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